The dictionary defines insecurity as being unsure, unstable, shaky, apprehensive, or lacking in self-confidence. There are many components in a woman’s life that can create an environment where this state of mind will flourish. It can be anything from upbringing, unsettling circumstances, mistreatment, to individual fears.
I’ve had my share of dealing with insecure women. Most of them are competitive and spoiled brats that feel threatened when someone else succeeds. They are suspicious, manipulative and worse, will sabotage you. It’s disheartening.
Over the years, I have learned to understand them and just stayed away from them—they are emotional vampires.
I thought I’d share with you the latest meme that exploded in Pinterest and
The Pastor’s Wife blog:
7 Habits of an Insecure Woman
By: Sara Melissa Hudson
Insecurity has been a plague to women since the beginning of time. That’s not how we are intended to live. God desires us to be women of confidence and power to fulfill our callings and destines. I do not have this all figured out. Please know that I am writing to you as I can identify with each of these traits, but I am striving to embrace the confidence God intends for me to possess and with His grace and help, I’ve been able to gain confidence. Want to join me?
1. An Insecure Woman is Critical. She lives with a glass half empty, negative mindset. Insecurity and Positivity can not coexist. She is always finding something or someone to indicate the faults of and disapprove of. The way someone works, acts, and talks. The way something is done or changed. She lashes out at others and often comes across as rude. She is quick to judge and is unforgiving. She lives in a constant state of disapproval, even of herself. She is her own worst critic.
A Confident Woman will always find something or someone to praise, compliment, approve of. She seeks ways to life up, encourage, and empower those around her, including herself. A confident woman sees the glass as half full and lives a blessed and fulfilled life. She sees Blessings in her trials. She highlights the positive, even in a negative circumstance.
2. An Insecure Woman is Fearful. She lives restrained, unwilling to release her true feelings, thoughts, talents, and ideas for fear of being rejected and criticized. Her mind is her prison. She constantly replays situations from the day assessing how others reacted to her and if she has been accepted by the people around her. She shrinks back often, allowing others to project themselves instead of her. She revisits times in her life where she feels a failure and refuses to be vulnerable again.She lives her life idle and lazy, never accomplishing her goals because she fears failure. She is completely Risk Free and “plays it safe”
The Bible says that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. (See 2 Timothy 1:7)
A Confident Woman makes the choice to reject fear when it invites itself into her mind. She chooses to take captive of these fearful thoughts and replace them with faith. Faith breeds a holy confidence. Faith brings action instead of idleness. She chooses to step out in faith and works hard to reach her goals. She is a risk taker and is not intimidated by “failure”.
3. An Insecure Woman Competes. Having a competitive drive in and of itself is not a negative thing, but an insecure woman competes with other women. She is constantly trying to measure up with the women around her, trying to become prettier, wittier, more stylish, more popular, and successful than them. She compares her success with theirs and tries to present herself as more superior and more valuable than the women around her. She desires their envy.
A Confident Woman empowers the women around her. She is inspired by their talents and successes and is not reluctant to compliment and encourage them. She speaks courage into other women and pushes them to continue their good work. She celebrates with others and truly empathizes with their happiness.
4. An Insecure Woman lives with Guilt. She punishes herself for her past mistakes. She keeps record of her wrongs. She has decided that she is not “worthy” of happiness and success. She rejects blessings because she is undeserving and disqualified to receive anything good. She lives with shame of her past sins and faults. She lives defeated.
A Confident Woman lives Redeemed. She knows that she is not righteous, deserving, or worthy of blessing, but she has accepted the One who is and by Him, she knows that she is forgiven and free of guilt and shame. Ephesians 1:7 says, “He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.” A confident woman lets go of the past. She embraces joy. She is blessed with success and happiness and receives all the good things that God has to give her. She is qualified through Him. She lives in freedom.
5. An Insecure Woman Gossips. She delights in sharing negativity about others. She feels lifted up by putting down others. She feels that her candle will burn brighter by blowing out someone else’s. She accentuates the faults of others, and in turn, feels powerful. She loves to stir up trouble and destroy friendships. Proverbs 16:28 “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.”
A Confident Woman rejects the spread of gossip. She protects the reputation of others, as she would desire for others to do the same for her. She possess integrity and is trustworthy, not sharing confidential matters with others. She highlights the positive attributes of others and encourages peace and unity. She prays for others if she knows they are going through a trial.
6. An Insecure Woman Seeks Validation. She is an attention seeker. She lives to hear the praises of others. She will do anything to feel loved, even if it contradicts her beliefs. She will even step on others, destroying friendships, if it means she will receive the affirmation and advancement she longs for. She craves to be the best, prettiest, funniest, most talented, and she wants others to notice. Sometimes she will act clumsy or rude just to be in the center of attention.
A Confident Woman has no need for the affirmation of others. She knows that she is loved and accepted by her heavenly father. She works and lives to please Him first. She has become like a “duck”..when people criticize her, she lets it roll off her back. Even when people praise her, she lets it roll off her back. Nothing that people say or do not say will affect her. Her worth is not determined by the validation of others. Ephesians 1:4 “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.”
7. An Insecure Woman is Defeated. When life pushes her down, she doesn’t get back up. She accepts defeat and has no motivation to “try again”. She will remain stagnant. She will compromise her goals and aspirations when she is faced with a setback. She chooses to remain comfortable with a “less than” life and refuses to go after her dreams.
A Confident Woman knows that a setback is only a set up for success in the future. She does not accept defeat. When life pushes her down, she bounces back with more determination than before. She sees the purpose in pain, the message in the mess. She sees opportunity in opposition. She knows that all things work together for good of those who love God.(See Romans 8:28) She does not hesitate to share her defeats with others. She hopes that her lessons and mistakes will serve as an inspiration to others. She is unstoppable.
I pray that you are blessed by these words and that they inspire you to live life as a confident woman. God is always reminding me and challenging me to be this as well.
I hope you never have to deal with one, though I’m sure you have. Maybe one too many times. It’s hard dealing with insecure people as they are defensive and sometimes delusional. The more you try to help them or be nice to them, the more they are suspicious of your actions. They can’t help it, it’s their defense mechanism. I find that it’s best to let go.
Happy Monday everyone!
Shoppingero/shoppingera, how do you deal with insecure people?